i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
