I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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