so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
