you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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