So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Everyone says I win the strip club
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
