I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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