I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize