Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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