on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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