Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize