I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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