We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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