I love black thongs
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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