I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
