Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
