So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
