Pappa wants mamma naked
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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