how do flat chested girls get laid?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
