Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize