we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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