So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
