i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
