those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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