absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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