He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
