Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize