Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
