my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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