dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
