I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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