Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
