I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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