just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
