He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
