I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
