he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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