2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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