He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
