We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
