so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
