Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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