Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
