Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
