I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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