Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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