You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
