no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize