You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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