There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize