What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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