I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
