i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
