Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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