Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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