Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
