The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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