The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
