she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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