I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
