I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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