I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
