It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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