dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
