at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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