How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
