12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
