your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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