addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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