i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
