The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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