Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
