Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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